Last night I was relaxing and reading “The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe” and said to myself: “Myself,” I said, “I think I’ll have some delicious left over turkey.” So I went and got some turkey out of the fridge. I also grabbed the sealed, new mayonnaise jar out of the door, because, let’s be honest, turkey is better with a little mayo. Anyway, I broke the seal, scooped out some tasty whipped egg and wheatgerm and whatever else is in that stuff into a bowl and proceeded to devour the turkey with aforementioned mayonnaise.
This morning my mother wakes me up at about 7 and asks if I ate some mayo last night. I told her yes, because I had. She told me that the mayo had expired. In 2004.
I ate over two year old mayonnaise last night.
The real question I intend to ask her tonight is why there was old, unopened, expired mayonnaise in the usual mayonnaise spot in the door, and not, say, an absence of old, unopened, expired mayo instead.
I got home and pulled the jar out of the trash. It reads FEB0407C2. I assume this means it expires on 2/4/07. I hope it does. Either way, still not sick here, so it’s all good. There’s a disturbing lack of mayo and a conspicuous amount of turkey left however…